I don’t analyze my maturity or how I’ve grown up very often, but sometimes I just become so damn proud of the person that I am growing up to be. One of those “proud of me” moments was just identified in these last few weeks and I felt like it needed to be a blog topic. It’s simply that I am so confident that this year will be the best yet not only because of what’s going on in my life, but what’s going on in other’s lives as well. Other people’s lives make me happy, make me better and make me more confident in the good things that still lie ahead for me.
One of my very best friends from college just had her first baby. She was the first of our college “clique” to get engaged, married and reproduce. Sidenote – I WAS the first to get a dog and that’s about all I can handle, but am still proud that the dog is A) alive and B) an amazing sidekick that has provided lots of laughs and love when I’ve needed it.
At every major milestone of my best friend’s life, I feel like the girls start to get frantic. Delusional thoughts emerge such as “Are we on track to have this life too?” “I can’t even get a date with a guy who meets minimal standards,” and the ever-popular “My eggs are drying up and I don’t want to be the old mom on the playground!” No one wants to hear that it takes time and it will happen for us….eventually…although we all know that’s what it’s going to take.
Thankfully, I haven’t allowed this thinking come into my life too often. I quickly realized how happy and fulfilled my life was when these great things were happening in my best friends life. The fact that she found an amazing man to be her best friend and love of her life made me smile. It made my heart so happy to read a poem she wrote at their wedding and every time I see the two of them together, I only HOPE that I am blessed with that kind of love at the right time.
Holding her precious baby for the first time this past weekend, made my heart melt. I have never felt this instant love to a little human whom I had never met before. I had tears in my eyes driving up to her house, knowing that not only had her life changed forever, but that mine would too. It’s the most special blessing I’m so excited that I get to share with her for all of our days left on Earth. How could I worry about where I was on the baby train, when everything I needed in that moment was in my arms?
There was a photo I saw of habits of happy people. One habit was not comparing your life to anyone else’s. I know this seems obvious, but it’s amazing how this poison creeps into our lives so often – especially when Facebook is constantly slapping you in the face with pictures of babies, relationship status changes and constant news feed updates of other’s accomplishments. We wonder what’s wrong with us, why we can’t find that person to love us or score that top position with the company. This harsh analysis of ourselves hurts like hell and I never want to have to look at myself and wonder why I’m not good enough for anyone or anything. I’ve realized that being comfortable moving at my own pace and not competing with other people and their timeline for life has allowed me to feel a deeper connection to myself and what means the most to me. I’m not setting myself up to fail or be upset if I have nothing compare it to but my own happiness.
There are days when it’s hard not to covet that top job, hot husband or adorable baby. Instead of going down that path of thinking, I am able to channel it more productively, which I think is a reason why I’m seeing personal growth. It hasn’t always been like this but here we are, 28 years later, and I’m able to find the reasons why my life is exactly in the place it needs to be at the moment. For now, I can enjoy taking road trips on a whim, making out with a hot guy who drives a pickup truck on a random Friday night and spoiling my perfect little “nephew.” I’m on my timeline, moving at the speed that fits me and I am right on schedule for everything. Other people who are rocking their careers, getting engaged and having babies just serve as reminders that the people in my life kick ass and deserve that ultimate success, love and happiness…I am both lucky and extremely blessed for having such amazing people sharing that all with me.
My turn will come….
Digitally yours –